This is a tool that we use to explain to women how and why things are so confusing in an abusive situation. If you have any questions, concerns or realizations give someone at the agency a call.
The cycle can be a fast one; with all the elements happening within a week, or the tension stage can last for months. Some women will deliberately goad their partner into moving to the incident stage just to get things over with, they will ‘talk back’ or strike out physically so the partner will escalate. It can look to outsiders like abuse by her and sometimes she’ll get arrested as well as, or instead of him.