I’m reading a book at work called ‘Nasty People by Jay Carter. Surprisingly it’s only 100 pages. I can think of a lot more nasty folk than that! The sub-title is ‘How to stop being hurt by them without stooping to their level’. That part makes sense to me. I remember as a child and young woman being told not to ‘stoop to their level’ if someone at school was being mean or dishonest in some way.
The primary message in the book is about those invalidators in our lives, those people who bully and cajole, they are sarcastic and misogynistic. They could be romantic partners, bosses or parents. The book also talks about the people on the receiving end of this emotional abuse. They are the victims. Either willingly or unwillingly, they don’t know how to react politely to someone who has obvious control issues. It’s a good book, and I think quite well written. It sets out the message in a folksy kind of way, it’s not a technical book for people ‘in the business’ but speaks to everyone.
He does cover personality disorders and chemical imbalances as possible reasons for this nastiness, but the overarching message is that these folks are ‘little hitlers’ they cause immeasurable grief to those in their path and seem to have no remorse. I have mentioned the concept of victims in this blog and it seems to be a bigger conversation in the media lately. We all know what a victim is, do you know how not to become one? Stay tuned and take care of you.